Reading The Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything by James Martin, S.J., one
of the early companions of Ignatius, who said, “The road is our home.”
I am pretty sure what Nadal didn’t
mean was what Merle Haggard sang about the road as his home, “I’ve had ramblin’
fever all along.” Nadal’s road was not a road of escape from duty and
relationships, but a path toward God.
I also don’t think he meant a road
as home like Willie Nelson, who sang, “I just can’t wait to get on the road
again.” For Nelson the road itself was only a means to an end, the interval
between concerts. For Nadal, I think the road was his final destination.
I’m not exactly sure what Jeronimo
Nadal meant, but I think he meant that a life of prayer and contemplation was
not enough unless it was also moving down the road. A follower of Jesus is
expected to lead an active life, to be a “contemplative in action.”
Most of my own contemplation comes
at one of two times: while I am writing raw thoughts in my journal, or more
often, while I am moving my feet down the road (running or hiking).
The reason I have been thinking
about roads is because of what my newest friends, Gary and Peter and Carl and
told me last weekend. I was at a very small men’s retreat (almost like private
lessons) where we spent many hours talking about God’s calling on our life. We
told our life stories, we discussed images that described various aspects of
our heart, we talked about movies and books and music and wives and friends. We
were strangers to each other when we first arrived, but they soon knew as much
about me as my longest friends. One theme the guys saw in my life was repeated
references to paths and trails and bridges and doorways. Roads. I live my life
on the road.
I knew it was correct the minute I
heard it. In my mind and heart I am always on the road. I hope my road is not
like Willie Nelson’s or Merle Haggard’s, but rather a road into the future
toward God. I want to believe my best days are ahead of me, just a bit further
down the road. I hope my closest days with God are down this pathway and my
best times with Cyndi are across that elegant bridge. Not that my best is
always out of reach, but that my best is ahead of me. I want to live a life
moving into the future down this road, toward God’s best.
Katz wrote (The Bedlam Farm Journal) about Joseph Campbell, who had an idea
that most people are either security or mythically driven. Security-conscious
people make deliberate choices about their life. They have money saved, jog and
exercise, are prepared for recessions, retirement, illness, and beyond.
Mythically-driven people are
different, and they make different choices. They take risks, and make
deliberate decisions that the choices they make may not result in security as
most Americans define it – money in the bank, fat IRAs, mortgage paid off.
So far, I’ve spent my life on the
security road. Yet, surprisingly, as I’ve gotten older I’ve veered
incrementally toward a more mythically-driven path. I would’ve expected the
trend to go the opposite direction. I had expected age would make me even more
cautious and anxious for security.
everything for their dreams. While I doubt I’ve ever risked everything for
anything, I often wish I was more risky with my dreams. I know my dreams are
taking up more space in my life and security is taking up less, but the ratio
is still far from 50/50.
One more song reference: Russ Taff
wrote a song titled Farther On,
saying, “Now I’m standing on this road your hand has brought me to; you
faithful love will lead me farther on.” So while I don’t want to stand on the
road, I want to keep moving. But even more, I want to stay on the road God’s
hand has pushed me to.
There was something else the guys
pointed out to me over the weekend: I don’t want to go alone. As much as I talk
about my need for solitude, I have an even bigger need to travel the road with
my group. I don’t care whether I am in the lead, but I want us to keep moving
together. I want you with me.
“I run in the path of Your
commands, for You have set my heart free.” Psalm 119:32
To learn more about
With God:” www.runningwithgodonline.com
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Berry directly: berry@stonefoot.org
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