I was reading I Corinthians 1:1
where the Apostle Paul described himself as being “called as an apostle of
Jesus Christ by the will of God.”
I wrote in the margin, “He is
confident of his position.” For myself, I often choke on the phrase – called by
God. I’m not sure I have a right to make that claim. I believe it
intellectually, but struggle with it practically.
It is easier for me to say “I am a
petroleum engineer” since I have a university degree to back it up. Easier to
say “I am a marathoner” since I have a collection of finish medals to prove it.
Easier to say “I am a deacon” or “I am a teacher” since I have a certificate in
my file cabinet and a class full of people.
But to say “I have been called by
God,” to teach or write, is harder. I’m not sure why. Now that I have published
my first book I can say “I am an author” with confidence, but to say “I am
called” is harder.
Maybe making a claim to have been
called by God, like the Apostle Paul did, assumes an endorsement by God,
implies a level of skill and talent that seems presumptuous to claim for
myself.
Yet I can describe multiple distinct
encounters in my life when God spoke to me about my life as a writer and as a
teacher in unmistakable ways. When he told me to start publishing weekly
journals and when he called me out on that picnic table at Wild at Heart camp,
just to mention two. While I may be reluctant to claim being called by God
because I don’t have a medal or a success to show off, I cannot deny those
encounters with God.
I doubt I’m alone in my reluctance.
I imagine most people feel the same way I do. It is always easier to see God’s
calling on someone else’s life than to see it in our own. More than one person
in the Bible resisted being called by God.
For example, Moses argued with God
about his calling even while standing barefoot in front of the burning bush.
You’d think that would’ve convinced him. And Gideon pulled a double stunt, the
wet fleece/dry fleece bit, hoping to understand the call that he feared. He’s
lucky he wasn’t slapped down by the angel sent to give him the message. And
even though God called Jeremiah to be a prophet before he was born, as soon as
he was old enough to object he said, “I don’t know how to speak’ I’m only a
child.”
Maybe some level of reluctance is a
good thing. Maybe that’s what keeps us leaning into God to fulfill the calling
rather than using our own ego. Maybe the humble spirit God is looking for is
hidden within that reluctance. That is, as long as reluctance doesn’t turn into
rebellion.
Well, I was thinking about this
journal today while I ran. And while I ran I listened to a podcast by Erwin
McManus who asked the question: “Are you doing what you were born to do?” I
couldn’t believe it. How did McManus know I needed to hear this very question
back on May 9th when he preached it?
He asked, “Are you doing what you’re
doing on purpose?” Otherwise we are like a big log floating downstream wherever
the current takes it, hanging up on brush, bumping into rocks, jamming with
other logs. Understanding what God has called us to do demands intentional
action on our part.
McManus said, “We all want to be the
guy up front swinging the ax, but few have the discipline to sharpen their
skills.” He quoted Ecclesiastes 10:10 (NIV): “If the ax is dull and its
edge unsharpened, more strength is needed but skill will bring success.”
Realizing your call from God can be frightening, since with great power and
energy comes even greater obligation and expectation. We have to hone the
skills God has given us.
So I’m headed north to
attend a small gathering of men where we’ll explore this very notion of our
calling. The retreat will be led by Gary Barkalow (www.TheNobleHeart.com),
whose voice has been one of the most influential in my life these past ten
years. I am excited about the opportunity to understand more.
And so I’ll ask you, where do you
see yourself in this discussion? What has God called you to do? Is it too scary
to talk about yet? Are you sharpening your skills? Are you waiting to hear?
“I run in the path of Your
commands, for You have set my heart free.” Psalm 119:32
To learn more about
With God:” http://www.runningwithgodonline.com/
Follow
Berry directly: berry@stonefoot.org
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